The morning after update: Well, as it turns out the possum was able to escape from his bag. So he lives…the question is will he be dumb enough to come back 
I’m taking a risk posting about this because people from P.E.T.A. (People Eating Tasty Animals) may read it and think that I’m a Christian animal killer. But sometimes a post just needs to be written. So here we go…
In January when I had my Lasik eye surgery done, one night I came home after seeing a number of clients in the evening. I went into my back room, turned the TV on and noticed a big fat possum laying on the corner of my 52″ big screen television. Naturally, I took a double take and when I realized that this critter had some how entered my home, doing what any woman would do – I got up and ran out of the room and slid the sliding door shut so this big ugly thing couldn’t get into the rest of my house. Then I called my husband who was at a Gideon’s dinner.
When my husband heard my frantic concerns he told me to get a broom and boot it out. (Yeah right…this thing was as big as a house I thought). So I said sure, honey…hung up and eventually called my girlfriend neighbor. She came running over with a mop and when she saw this big fat ugly possum, she didn’t know what to do either – except laugh and giggle in nervousness with me. So I called the police department dispatch and they connected me to animal control.
After the dispatcher and animal control on duty person stopped laughing that I found a possum on top of my TV set, they gladly sent out a man to capture it for me. The problem is that they actually showed up after my husband finally got home (an hour later) and booted this monster out of my house.
And in case you’re wondering the possum came in through the dog door. Apparently my ferocious guard dogs slept while on duty.
Anyway, fast forward to tonight and a few days ago. A few days ago my girl dog joyfully captured a baby possum and brought it into the house. My husband verified that little evil creature was really dead (yes, you have to make sure they are not breathing, because possums…well, play possum) and buried it in our yard. And since it hasn’t risen from the dead, I am glad to tell you as of tonight, that little thing is really dead.
So then there’s tonight. I’m going into my kitchen to get my insulin for my cat who has diabetes and I turn around and both of my dogs are glaring at this little possum they just brought in. They dropped it on one of their beds. So after I confirm I’m not seeing this again, I go to my husband and bring him into our kitchen where he can be the big brave man and remove this thing.
But first…I asked my husband to confirm the possum was dead.
It wasn’t.
And it was also covered in fleas, which I am allergic to.
So my husband then got a paper towel and picked this little possum up by his rat looking ugly tail and brought him outdoors. However, he didn’t want the thing to be around the dogs, and if he had dropped him, our dogs would’ve gotten him for sure. That actually is my option for murdering possums. They come in our yard, big great guard dogs kill them and eat them for lunch. That or I offered my husband the solution that the could put the possum in a bag, take him for a long ride in his car and then drop him off someplace.
My husband then asked me what I thought of him putting the possum in a plastic bag and then just hitting it with a shovel and putting it out of its misery. And while I like the idea of another dead possum, I just didn’t like the idea of my husband killing it with a shovel. So we compromised.
We hung the possum on a nail out back inside a tied plastic garbage bag. If the possum is still there tomorrow morning, we figured it will have died. If it’s gone, then that thing will probably end up being killed eventually by my dogs.
My question is how would you have killed it?
